Friday, February 9, 2007

Love School ; Hate School

For as many reasons why i love school, i hate school as well. Why do i love my school? Well, i do what i love. I'm being trained in skills that have been a life long passion for me. For as long as i can remember i've wanted to become an animator working for disney and the likes, and here i am doing exactly that (minus the working for disney thing). The people i associate with at school are amazing too. Never in my life have i been surrounded by so many great artists all the time. It's an instant connection of common interests; I truly feel like I belong there. Other things i like about school: the facilities are great, the equipment is great, the faculty, location, etc.. all great (or any other adjective that'll describe "great"). All in all, my experience at Ex'pression College has been fulfilling and inspirational, and i'm very glad to be involved with it.

Now for the reason's why i hate school. Really, it has nothing to do with the school itself, but all the other things that surround my school life. Considering how intense and immersive my school is, it leaves very little room for socializing. Keep in my mind, my school isn't what you call a "conventional college." The college experience at our school differs completely than your, say, UC college. No dorms, no frats/sororities, no long vacations really (just a week off for spring and winter respectively, plus the other regular holidays like thanksgiving). If anything, it resemebles more "real" life than "college" life. So with that said, socializing while at our school is different to say the least. Not hard, just different.

Most of my closest friends have already graduated and are working their 9-5's. I'm a late bloomer. This brings another mess of problems that won't go into great detail about, but in the short, my poor-college student-self tries to keep up socially (and financially) with them which is taxing. In reality, i just can't. And i shouldn't. But i try, and it's requiring a lot more will power than people might think to just hold off and say "no" sometimes. And this brings me another reason why i hate school: finances. I pretty much have none, and am accumulating huge debt because of it. Yes i know my bad spending habits are making massive contriubutions (which is odd cause I have nothing to show for it. No new clothes or gadgets or things of that nature), but by default, as a student, you're supposed to be poor... and i HATE it. Not only for the reasons that i've mentioned earlier, but i just hate being in debt and STILL having no money. To be financially stable, i'd pretty much have to cut my friends off. But who can do that? Yes they'd understand... but do i really wanna put them in that situation?.. what kind of friend would I be?

In conclusion (total elementry school essay flashback right there), as much as i love my time at Ex'pression college, I can't wait to graduate and get back out there. I can't wait to have (hopefully) a steady paycheck, unreluctantly hang out with my friends, and to go out and work on the next Finding Nemo or Gears of War.

am·biv·a·lence [am-biv-uh-luhns] n.
1. uncertainty or fluctuation, esp. when caused by inability to make a choice or by a simultaneous desire to say or do two opposite or conflicting things.... i love this word.

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